Happy Tuesday sweet friends! As I’m typing this, I’m feeling tons of emotions. For my new followers that do not know, after Lily I had postpartum depression/anxiety. It was a dark place. I had been put on Zoloft and finally started to feel like myself again. Once Lily turned 1. I thought I was better and went off of it. I thought I felt normal.
Fast forward to now and I feel the anxiety/depression creeping back in. It turns out it never went away, and I was still experiencing it. This time I knew right away something was off. I felt more anxiety than I could handle. But kept it quiet. Why? Why did I feel ashamed? I felt ashamed the first time but shouldn’t I have said something? To my husband, to anyone? You would think after going through this the first time I would have been able to say, Hey babe. I’m not feeling right again. It took a few tries until I finally told my husband. He was a little upset that I didn’t tell him how I was feeling.
A part of me thought, oh you know it’s just motherhood. This is normal right? No, feeling this way isn’t normal. This morning I finally went to the doctors and I will be back on Zoloft. I don’t know how I feel right now. I guess just a little embarrassed , a little down. I should have said something sooner but it’s better late than never right? I sort of feel like a burden again to my husband, like great, your wife has depression & anxiety again. But he assures me I’m not a burden. He is seriously the best husband ever and I’m so blessed for him.
So mama, if you’re feeling the way i’ve been feeling, you’re not alone. We are not alone. It’s better to be open about something like this than hiding it and suffering alone. We can get through this together.